“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”
Eleanor Roosevelt
Feeling inferior is a choice, there isn’t a single person on this earth who is better than another because of role, degree or pedigree. We are all humans who put their britches on the same way each morning. Whether you feel superior, or inferior, you are wrong on both accounts. Don’t allow someone to make you feel either way, both are flawed.
“Do the best you can in every task, no matter how unimportant it may seem at the time. No one learns more about a problem than the person at the bottom.”
Sandra Day O’Connor
It can be easy to mail it in on the seeming inconsequential tasks and projects. But apathy and mediocrity are as highly contagious as any drug. If you don’t do your best when it doesn’t seem to count you won’t be able to when it really does. Give everything you have, that’s how you always keep climbing.
“Be present in all things and thankful for all things.”
Maya Angelou
The beauty of gratitude is that it pulls you into the present moment. To be grateful you must be aware and the richness of the world that exists around you right now. To be thankful for all the blessings you have requires that you let go of the temptation to live for the future and revel in the richness of the present moment.
On this Thanksgiving Day take the time to pause and be fully present and aware of the incredible blessings that you have been blessed with. It is a beautiful day! Happy Thanksgiving!
“Each day of our lives we make deposits in the memory banks of our children.”
Charles Swindoll
Whether you have children or not you will make deposits in the lives of others today, and every day, through your words, behaviors and actions. If you are thankful and grateful, they will be too. If you are harsh and judgmental, then those are the memories you are building for others. You can’t control what others think about you, but you can control the seeds of those memories and how they are planted.
Today, and every day, be intentional in the deposits that you make, for someday you will only exist as a memory. Do you want those memories to be impactful or forgettable?
“Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more.”
Melodie Beattie
When in your life have you been the most grateful? If you take a moment to look back and think of a time when your “gratitude overflowed” what was it that you were grateful for? Who were the people, the gifts, or the blessings that created that degree of gratefulness?
It can be so easy to get lost in the pursuit of “more” and the comparison trap with others. When one takes a step back and considers all the blessings you truly have, the rest just seems to drift into place.
What is it that prevents you from having a sense of gratitude each and every day?
“Wherever you turn, you can find someone who needs you. Even if it is a little thing, do something for which there is no pay but the privilege of doing it. Remember, you don’t live in the world all of your own.”
Albert Schweitzer
Sometimes the best way to express your thanks and gratitude is to do for others, specifically for those that will never be able to repay you for the kindness. What better time of year to do so than the week of thanksgiving.
Who can you help today?
“Perpetual optimism is a force multiplier.”
Colin Powell
Have you ever noticed that those who are perpetually optimistic also seem to be perpetually happy? Their optimism effects those around them and they just seem to be surrounded by good things. Positive things just seem to happen to and for them.
The “glass half full” attitude is a choice. We can either choose to see the world, and what happens in that world, as a blessing or a curse. Either way things happen and how we react to it them is entirely up to us. When we choose positivity then good things happen. When we choose negativity, then we see only the bad things.
Be a force multiplier not only for yourself, but for those around you. Your optimism can and will be contagious. That contagion is how the force will be multiplied.
“Change is the end result of all true learning.”
Leo Buscaglia
What is a change that you need or want to make in your life? What are you intentionally reading, learning and studying to make that change possible? If you aren’t doing the work of studying and learning then change won’t happen. Lasting change isn’t based on wishing or hoping it is based on hard work and learning.
Stop waiting for things to happen, go learn something new EVERYDAY and you will be amazed at the doors that open up for you.
“If you look at what you have in life, you’ll always have more. If you look at what you don’t have in life, you’ll never have enough.”
Oprah Winfrey
Are you focused on creating a life based on “getting” or “giving?” No matter how much you accumulate, it is never enough. By the same token, no matter how much you give, you can always give more.
The key is to think about how you feel AFTERWARDS. Which perspective makes you feel full and alive, and which one leaves you feeling empty and needing more…?
“If you have the ability to help, and you know there are ways you can make a positive difference, and if you are able to do it, I don’t quite understand not…”
Eddie Vedder
I’ve been reflecting a lot lately on gratitude and the power of living a grateful life. It’s not because it is almost Thanksgiving (although that is a good time for everyone to pause and be grateful) but just a continuing realization and appreciation for just how blessed and privileged I have been throughout my life.
Yesterday I had the opportunity to sit in a Q&A session between Keith Block (Co-CEO of Salesforce) and Eddie Vedder (of Pearl Jam). Eddie said a lot of great things but the quote above really stood out to me (as well as a few of the others I will share below.) This was the fourth or fifth time over the past several weeks where I have heard a “give back” or “help others” message. I have found in life that when a bunch of seemingly unrelated experiences happen to convey a similar message that I really need to sit up and pay attention.
So what exactly does this mean? I have no idea. But helping others, doing for others, living a life for others with a spirit of gratitude and understanding for all that we have been blessed with is so rewarding.
Why do we turn a blind eye to the needs of others? Why do we step past a person on the street who is homeless and hungry? Why do we find ways to do things for ourselves but yet we can’t find five minutes to reach out to friends or family to let them know we are thinking about them? When did we move from being a society that was thankful for simple blessings and become a society obsessed with the relentless pursuit of more?
Eddie shared several thoughts yesterday that really struck home with me as I reflect on blessings and ways to give back. Here are some of the ones that stood out to me:
“In our DNA we are hunters and gatherers. It’s not hunters, gatherers and hoarders.”
“It just seems like you the more you give, the more you get in return.”
“If you have the ability to help, there’s always going to be a way you can make a positive difference.”
Life on this earth is short and temporary. Tomorrow is never promised and As I wrote about yesterday we are truly here on this earth to help and love others. What greater gift is there to live a life of gratitude on a daily basis and find a way every day to do something for someone else, with no expectation of anything in return? What is stopping you from helping someone, anyone, today?
“The sole reason we are here is to help someone else.”
Tim Cook
The context behind this quote is on realizing our true purpose in life. I had the opportunity yesterday to see a conversation between Tim Cook & Marc Benioff while attending Dreamforce (Salesforce’s annual conference). Tim was speaking about our purpose in life and how it took him a long time to realize his purpose, and not just his individual purpose, but the collective purpose of all humanity. His sentiment was that once you realize that the purpose of being on this earth was to help others that it is the most liberating and revelatory awareness one can have.
What if everyone realized this, and behaved accordingly? What if every single person treated others with dignity and respect? What if we all made it our purpose today to find someone and help them? How different would our world be tomorrow?
Instead of being burdened today by what you do, go find a way to help someone else. You just might find that you are fulfilling your true purpose…
“Learning is not attained by chance, it must be sought for with ardor and attended to with diligence.”
Abigail Adams
What are you planning to learn today? What are the opportunities ahead of you to gain new knowledge? Do you have a plan? If not, then just use two simple questions to bring focus to your learning.
First, begin your day with this question. “What do I want to learn today?”
Second, At the conclusion of the day ask yourself the follow up, “what did I learn today?”
I use a digital journal to keep up with these questions but use whatever method works for you. Just be sure you are learning!
Without intentional focus on learning, growth is accidental. That’s no way to live. That is just survival and existence. There is so much more to life than just existing. Learn something new!
“The greatest leaders are not necessarily the ones who do the greatest things. They are the ones that inspire others to do great things.”
Ronald Reagan
An important aspect of leadership is the unlocking of the hidden and untapped talents in others. No one person can do everything or be the source of all great things. Inspiring others is an incredible multiplier that makes the impossible possible. Focus on helping others find their potential and you will help unlock greatness.
“When it comes to life the critical thing is whether you take things for granted or take them with gratitude.”
G.K. Chesterton
There is such a distinct difference between living a life of gratitude and any other kind of life. A life of gratitude fuels a positive spirit and an appreciation of the beauty that surrounds us. But it is so easy to take things for granted.
Make a list today of 10 things that you know that you take for granted. Be specific. You aren’t going to share this list (unless you want to) so be honest with yourself. Now study that list. Is there something on that list that someone else does for you to whom you could go and express your gratitude? If so, do it.
Next think of the biggest challenges or obstacles that you are facing. What are the things that are causing you to have doubt and worry? Now look at your list again. Given the things that you have that you are taking for granted in life does the challenge seem quite as large?
If you have your health, you have so much more than many people. If you have love, you have more than many. If you have food to eat and water to drink, you have more than most of the world has had throughout human history. What do you have to be grateful for today?
“You cannot do a kindness too soon because you never know how soon it will be too late.”
Ralph Waldo Emerson
Life is precious and short. It will end at some point for all of us. How you live each day will determine the depth of your life regardless of the breadth. I have come to realize that there are two simple axioms that should frame how you live. First, rid yourself of all anger and resentment. Second, give away all your gifts of self as soon as you can.
First, there is an old saying about anger has been attributed to a number of people over the years. “Hanging on to anger or resentment is like taking a poison and expecting the other person to die.” It is sad to see people that are so busy being hurt that they can’t see the joy in the world and in their own lives. Resentment hurts no one but yourself. Let it go. Strip yourself of it in every way and do what it takes to forgive or forget, ideally both if possible.
Second, hanging on to a gift or a kindness of self and not giving it is like buying a present for someone and putting it on the shelf. If you don’t give it there will be a time when you no longer can. All the great intention in the world isn’t the same as giving the gift. This is a time when the saying “it’s the thought that counts” truly doesn’t apply. If you have a kindness to give; give it. These gifts of self are perishable, the difference is that you don’t know when exactly they will spoil.
Don’t hang on to either your anger or your gifts. One will kill you, the other will cause regret at some point in life. You can’t get the time back.
“Laughter heals all wounds, and that’s one thing that everybody shares. No matter what you’re going through, it makes you forget about your problems. I think the world should keep laughing.”
Kevin Hart
Laughter truly is the best medicine. No matter what the situation is, laughter can make it so much better. I am genuinely sad for those that don’t get to experience the wonderful pain of laughing so hard that your sides hurt.
Find a friend, share a laugh (or two), your life will be so much richer.
“You don’t need more opportunity. You need to learn to execute on the opportunities you already have.”
Michael Hyatt
What is the opportunity just sitting there waiting to be embraced? What is preventing you from doing so? Sometimes it is easier to get excited about the “new” opportunity than it is to do embrace the one’s that are already on your plate.
Perhaps the old adage of “a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush” applies here…
“The finest steel has to go through the hottest fire.”
Richard Nixon
Do you embrace that challenges and circumstances before as things that are happening ‘to you’ or ‘for you’?
If you view yourself as a blank of steel then you know that the entirety of life is the forge. There are periods of great heat and pressure, and their are times of cooling and rest. It is the continual working of the steel through these seasons that produces the final product. The final product is one of which the artisan is proud of and trusts to perform when called upon.
Life is all a matter of perspective and choice. Are you the steel or are you the impure metals that are removed during the refining and forging process? I am reminded of one of my favorite scripture verses as I meditate on this quote.
‘Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope,’ Romans 5:3-4
Are you embracing the life that is happening for you or lamenting what is happening to you? Be steel, welcome the heat.
“I am here for a purpose and that purpose is to grow into a mountain, not to shrink to a grain of sand. Henceforth will I apply ALL my efforts to become the highest mountain of all and I will strain my potential until it cries for mercy.”
Og Mandino
What is your purpose? How hard are you willing to push yourself to achieve that end? Will you go past your comfort zone? Will you intentionally set aside ease and comfort and “strain your potential until it cries for mercy?”
It is one thing to know your purpose, it is entirely another to embrace the hard and necessary work to achieve that end, no matter how many obstacles you encounter along the way.
I have found through life that the biggest impediment in my path of achieving purpose is principally myself. It is always easier to take the path of least resistance. It is always easier to stop early, to let a little bit of the remaining work wait until tomorrow. It is always easier to find an excuse of why something won’t work instead of soldiering on getting it done, no matter what.
To become the highest mountain, to achieve your God-given purpose in life means that you must overcome the drag of this world and never buy into the reasons why something can’t or won’t work. It means you have to look in the mirror and realize that the single most important obstacle to overcome is yourself.
Are you willing to push yourself hard and farther every single day? Are you willing to go so hard that you will cry for mercy? If the answer is “no,” then you either haven’t discovered your true purpose or you have surrendered to becoming a grain of sand.
Don’t surrender to your own desire for comfort and ease, push through and become a victor over self. No one knows the enemy better than you do. You are uniquely situated to conquer the enemy, you just have to make the choice to do so.
“The bravest are surely those who have the clearest vision of what is before them, glory and danger alike, and yet notwithstanding, go out to meet it.”
Thucydides
“Honor to the soldier and sailor everywhere, who bravely bears his country’s cause. Honor, also, to the citizen who cares for his brother in the field and serves, as he best can, the same cause.”
Abraham Lincoln
One of the principle regrets or “misses” in my life is that I didn’t take take the opportunity to serve my country. I didn’t have the honor to wear a uniform and take an oath that so many of our brothers and sisters have done in the name of freedom. It will always be one of my disappointments.
I chose two quotes today intentionally. The first quote to call out the bravery and courage that our service men and women take on when they put on their uniform and choose to protect our freedoms. THANK YOU.
I choose the second quote as a reminder to myself that even without having put on a uniform I have an obligation to do all I can to support those who are serving. To all those that give above and beyond to ensure that our Veteran’s are celebrated and supported not just on Veteran’s Day but every day of the year, THANK YOU.
We have the incredible gift of freedom because of the courage of those who stand in the gap to defend us each and every day. THANK YOU.
“Sometimes the most productive thing you can do is relax.”
Mark Black
It seems to be harder to relax and disconnect now than at anytime in history. There is always a distraction, there is always more to be done, there is always something calling for your attention. True relaxation can be very hard to find and it can be hard to justify the time when the “to do list” just keeps getting longer and longer.
But sometimes it is the ability to find relaxation that brings to your mind and body exactly the peace that is needed to create the solution for whatever it is that you are seeking to achieve. We aren’t wired to be “on” 100% of the time. Our souls need rest and when we give ourselves the grace to accept and embrace that rest it is amazing what we can accomplish.
Some of my best work has happened during, or immediately after, I have given myself permission to disconnect and relax. I have to remind myself to take the time, it is far easier to just keep the nose to the grindstone and continue working, but that is so counter productive in the long term.
I remind myself that if I were training for a long endurance race I wouldn’t go do a brutally hard workout the day before the marathon. Instead I would follow my training plan and taper down my workouts leading up to the big race.
The same is true of life. We need times of intense training and growth but we also need to build in periods of rest so that we can perform at our optimum level when it really counts. Embrace the taper, make it part of your life plan, it will be the launching pad for incredible results.
“There are times in all of our lives when a reliance on gut or intuition just seems more appropriate–when a particular course of action just feels right. And interestingly I’ve discovered it’s in facing life’s most important decisions that intuition seems the most indispensable to getting it right.”
Tim Cook
Sometimes all the preparation, logic and knowledge in the world doesn’t give you enough information to make a necessary decision. And there are other times when you know that you don’t have enough information but yet the decision seems easy.
I have learned in life that ignoring my gut or intuition is fraught with peril. I can’t think of a time in life where I have had a gut sense about something, and then ignored that feeling, when it didn’t come back to haunt me. The intuition is an amazing thing, but one has to have the ability to listen to it and pay attention to what your gut is telling you.
Now I am not saying that paying attention to your gut means that you let your intuition make all your decisions and you can just ignore the data and put off doing the work to ensure you have the right information at hand. However, there are times when you need to really listen to what your gut sense is telling you.
The key is to be in tune with your inner dialogue and hone your listening skills. If you don’t take the time to listen, you can’t pay attention to something that no one else can provide, your own gut instincts…
“Ownership: ‘A commitment of the head, heart, and hands to fix the problem and never again affix the blame.”
John G. Miller
So much energy is lost in this world by pointing the fingers at others. Blame is a pervasive and insidious leech that sucks the energy from where it truly belongs, the solution.
To combat this and instill ownership in your thinking focus on the “why“and the “what” never the “who.” Focusing on whom to blame is a recipe for negativity and wasted efforts. Instead ask yourselves these questions when faced with a problem or a challenge.
“Why” – Why did this happen? Why are we here where we are today?
“What” – What are we to learn from this? What are we going to do about it?
I guess there could be an appropriate use of “who” but instead of in the context of “who is to blame” it should be “who can help solve this problem?”
Make why and what the key focus and put blaming others completely out of your mind. It is a waste of time and leads to pervasive negativity. Life is too short for that.
“When a man points a finger at someone else, he should remember that four of his fingers are pointing at himself.”
Louis Nizer
I have written before about the power of ownership and owning vs. renting. The attitude of ownership says that one has some type of control over EVERYTHING that happens within their world. Is this literally true? Of course not, you can’t control the weather. But you can control how you dress for the weather or what activities you are taking part in.
If you can’t define the outcome of some situation or challenge, you can choose how you react to it. Choosing to point fingers and make it someone else’s fault is sidestepping both responsibility and accountability. If you want to live a life that embodies the ownership ethos then start by examining the four fingers that are pointing back yourself. That is where the power of growth can be harnessed. No ever grows or improves by pointing a finger at others.
“The things you do for yourself are gone when you are gone, but the things you do for others remain as your legacy.”
Kalu Ndukwe Kalu
What is the legacy you want to leave behind? I have heard some say that they don’t care about their legacy, that it isn’t important to them. I feel sorry for those people because they haven’t experienced the joy of giving, the value in serving others over self, the priceless gift of seeing others perpetuate that same spirit of giving to others.
I am reminded of this verse from Luke on greed and serving oneself. “Then he said to them, “Watch out! Be on your guard against all kinds of greed; life does not consist in an abundance of possessions.” Luke 12:15
What is the defined and intentional legacy you want to leave? Do you have a plan to make it happen? Are your thoughts, words, actions and behaviors attuned to that desire? If not then what needs to change? No matter what, you will leave a legacy, what do you want it to be about?
“Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” Matthew 6:19-21
“You may never know what results come of your actions, but if you do nothing, there will be no results.”
Mahatma Gandhi
Do you need to know all the results of your actions in order to make the actions worthwhile?
What if you can never know how many lives your actions touched or who’s life is changed forever? Does that make the action less worthy in some way?
Of course not. Do the work, take the action, make a difference. Results matter, taking action matters more.
“I have three precious things which I hold fast and prize. The first is gentleness; the second frugality; the third is humility, which keeps me from putting myself before others. Be gentle and you can be bold; be frugal and you can be liberal; avoid putting yourself before others and you can become a leader among men.”
Laozi
Yesterday I wrote about the power of understanding your values and letting them determine you thoughts, words, actions, & habits. I chose this quote because I think it captures elegantly three values that are hard for me to argue with in any way.
Admittedly I don’t always do a good doing these but I need to hold myself accountable to creating thoughts, words, actions and habits that reflect the transformative power gentleness, frugality and humility can have on lives, both yourself and others…
“Carefully watch your thoughts, for they become your words. Manage and watch your words, for they will become your actions. Consider and judge your actions, for they have become your habits. Acknowledge and watch your habits, for they shall become your values. Understand and embrace your values, for they become your destiny.”
Mahatma Gandhi
There is so much wisdom in this quote. Each sentence can and should be unpacked and thought through with great care and intention. To turn this into action begin with the last sentence and work through this question:
What are my values?
Once you have captured these clearly then you can attack the sentences in order but always through the lens of your values.
Are my thoughts reflective of my values?
Are my words reflective of my values?
Are my actions reflective of my values?
Are my habits reflective of my values?
Are my values reflective of the legacy I want to leave?
To live a life of authenticity one must start with the values and build everything up from that. Otherwise life is happenstance and accidental. Which is no way to live.
“Silent gratitude isn’t very much to anyone.”
Gertrude Stein
Close your eyes. Think of one person who did something for you in the past 24-hours that you haven’t thanked. Now open your eyes. Take action to express your gratitude within the next hour. Write a note, send a text, pick up the phone, walk next door and find the person. Just don’t delay.
Say what needs to be said, who knows, you might change that persons entire day.
“Do not pray for an easy life, pray for the strength to endure a difficult one.”
Bruce Lee
One doesn’t become stronger without first becoming weaker. One can’t become more without first becoming less.
At first glance this goes against our modern culture. We want life to be instagram perfect and easy. Society emphasizes the value not of the struggle, but of the reward. But the “rewards” are earned through the difficult times.
For example, to improve the fitness in your body you must first weaken it. If you lift weights you intentionally stress and tear down the muscles, that is what allows them to grow and become stronger and more powerful. If you don’t endure the stress and difficult work, the muscles will atrophy and diminish in power. The difficulty is NECESSARY for growth.
The same thing applies to life. What are the difficulties in your life right now that are strengthening you? What are the challenges that are tearing you down so that you can grow back stronger and more powerful?
One of my favorite verses in all of scripture is: ‘I can do all things through him who strengthens me. ‘ Philippians 4:13
I used the think of this as a powerful reminder that when the times get tough I can lean on God for strength and perseverance. That is still true but now I realize that it has a larger meaning. God can be the “strength coach” of my life, pushing me into places I didn’t know I needed or wanted to go. Tearing me down, so that I can be built back up as a better and more whole self.
Embrace the difficulties and recognize that they can be some of the very best things that will ever happen FOR YOU. Because it is through the tearing down that the growth occurs…