Self-forgiveness…

“Forgive many things in others; nothing in yourself.”

Ausonius

Forgiveness is healthy, especially for oneself. But be wise to the difference between forgiveness and making excuses for yourself.

It is a very thin line between accepting and forgiving yourself for something and allowing an excuse mentality to creep in. Once you become accustomed to making excuses you are no longer in control, you are a victim.

Hold yourself accountable to making sure that anytime you are giving yourself grace over some situation or circumstance you are never allowing an excuse for why you didn’t do what you set out to do to override your personal accountability.

Ownership starts with self…

Change yourself first…

“What we achieve inwardly will change outer reality.”

Plutarch

Why is it that change has to start on the inside if we want to see it last on the outside? It would be so much easier if we could simply wave a magic wand and change the world to be what we it is that we want to see. Instead we have to change ourselves on the inside, and it is through those changes we become the person the world needs us to be. Only then, can the world as we perceive be permanently changed…

Happiness follows focus…

“The joy we feel has little to do with the circumstances of our lives and everything to do with the focus of our lives.”

Russell M. Nelson

In times of your greatest joy how focused would you say that you are in your life? When I reflect on this question, and am honest with myself, I can say that the happiest moments of my life have all been times when I was deeply focused on something or someone. It wasn’t the circumstances that made me happy, it was that I was deeply focused and engaged and that in turn led to happiness.

On the flip side, if you look at your life when there has been a lack of joy or happiness how would you score yourself on focus? If you scored high on focus what was it that you were focused on? Was it the right thing? Again, if I do this, and am honest with myself, the times of least joy or happiness are marred with a lack of focus, or at least a lack of focus on the things that matter.

Focus on what matters, happiness follows…

Fake Truth…

“There’s a world of difference between truth and facts. Facts can obscure the truth.”

Maya Angelou

Oh how true this is. It reminds me of the old saying “numbers never lie, but liars use numbers.” The “facts” that we take to be truth are flavored by so many things, including the lens of our own perception and experiences. Be careful taking the “facts” as they are presented and assuming they represent the “truth.” You just might fight that your understanding of the facts has created a “fake truth.”

Enjoy the season…

“Let your joy be in your journey—not in some distant goal.”

Tim Cook

I love the holiday season. Beginning with the month of October and then the run up to Thanksgiving and through the New Year is just a magical time of year. Not just because it is a time to indulge in too much rich food and extra time with family. But because the season seems to put a warmer spark in peoples hearts. Of course the true meaning of Christmas is never lost on me and the part I love most is the Christmas Eve service at church singing carols by candlelight.

When I was a child I would spend the entire holidays in breathless anticipation of Christmas morning. It wasn’t about the journey, it was about the goal. Now that I am older, and hopefully wiser, I appreciate the journey through the different holidays so much more. In fact, I would give anything to add another week to the period between Thanksgiving and Christmas. This time of year always seems to go by far to fast.

So when reading this quote today my mind immediately went to the joy of the journey through the holidays and how maturity has changed my focus from the goal to the trip. May we carry that perspective and attitude through the entire year. Along with so many other aspects of the Christmas season…

I was wrong…

“Confidence comes not from always being right but not fearing to be wrong.”

Unknown

There is such a distinct difference between a person who is always right (ego) and a person that isn’t afraid to be wrong (confident AND humble). I have worked with both and the leadership impact of the latter on those around them is incredible.

The leader who doesn’t HAVE to be right, but cares first and foremost about doing what is right builds a powerful team of thinkers and a culture of openness and candor.

The leader who is always right builds a team of people that are aggressively waiting to be told what to do. Smart people won’t stay in this kind of culture because it is demoralizing and limits the capabilities of the entire organization.

Don’t fear being wrong, embrace it, it sends a powerful lesson to those that you lead and serve.

Giving happiness…

“The most worth-while thing is to try to put happiness into the lives of others.”

Robert Baden-Powell

When you go home at the end of the day what makes you sleep better; having helped someone else find happiness or focusing on the creation of your own happiness?

I for one have found that helping someone else is what creates the happiness reward for me. It is amazing how doing for others can have such incredible personal returns when you put serving at the top of your priority list.

Who did you help find happiness today?

Worth the risk…

“If you’re not willing to risk, you cannot grow. If you cannot grow, you cannot be your best. If you cannot be your best, you cannot be happy. If you cannot be happy, what else is there?”

Les Brown

What are you willing to risk for growth? What are you willing to risk in order to become your very best? What are you willing to risk for happiness?

Doesn’t it seem like happiness should be worth every risk? You just just have to decide to take the risk. If you don’t are you choosing not to be happy?

Fanatical is good…

“Good habits are worth being fanatical about.”

John Irving

It is amazing how much work it can take to cultivate and build a good habit and how easy it can be to lose your way if you aren’t careful. If you take the time, effort and energy to build a habit then you should work hard to maintain it, even when it is tough.

It is far less work to keep the habit up than it is to build it again. Be fanatical with your good habits, don’t throw away the investment you made to build them…

No quit…

“For every failure, there’s an alternative course of action. You just have to find it. When you come to a roadblock, take a detour.”

Mary Kay Ash

It’s not failure unless you choose to quit without having exhausted every potential option. Failure isn’t fatal, but quitting just might be. Sometimes the detours are the most rewarding options…

Listen carefully…

“Knowledge speaks, but wisdom listens.”

Jimi Hendrix

How do you know when you are gaining wisdom? When you are listening to learn, not to simply respond. What is the most effective way to accomplish this? Improve your ratio of questions to statements. If you are making more statements than asking of questions you are focused on imparting knowledge. If you are asking more questions then you are learning to gain wisdom. The value of wisdom is knowing how and when to use your knowledge. Without wisdom, you just have information, and that’s not nearly as valuable…

Practice on yourself…

“There is overwhelming evidence that the higher the level of self-esteem, the more likely one will be to treat others with respect, kindness, and generosity.”

Nathaniel Branden

In order to love others fully and completely one must have love for self. Not in an egotistical manner where it is all about you and what you want but instead about respect of self. How can one give something to others which you aren’t willing or able to give yourself?

Those with low self-esteem must find ways to bring others down. I am sure that everyone knows those who are constantly seeking ways to diminish others through negative comments and a lack of appreciation and respect for our common humanity. It is sad to think that a person can be so down on themselves that they can’t find or wont find positivity in others.

If you want to learn to give with respect, kindness and generosity to others work on practicing those same things on yourself.

Winning…

“(Tool+Training+Experience) x Mindset = Goal/Success. BUT, if your mindset is zero, then the equation is (100+100+100) x 0 = Failure.”

Unknown

No matter how well trained, how well resourced or how much experience you have nothing can overcome a mindset that isn’t prepared to win. But what does a positive mindset really mean?

For me it means wanting to win and being willing to do the hard work to win, knowing that winning isn’t guaranteed, but that the lack of certain success in no way diminishes the effort put forth to achieve the goal at hand. If your mindset is set on anything less than a complete desire to win you are setting yourself up for failure…

Read for life…

“The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who can’t read them.”

Mark Twain

Those who know me know that I read incessantly. I am always reading or listening to a good book. In a typical year I will read between 40 – 60 books across a very broad range of topics and literary styles. I have had a love of reading for my entire life. In many ways, as a person who was home-schooled for my primary education, reading was both my doorway to learning and my way to explore a broader world.

Today I continue to read to both learn and to experience more of the world. I have always felt that there were dozens of vocations or lives that I could have explored. Unfortunately there was no way to do this so reading has been a way to “live vicariously” through the stories shared by great authors. Reading is a way to live a much broader and expansive life, even while focusing on being present in the here and now.

I truly can’t imagine going through life without a good book (or 3) going at any one time. Right now I am reading “Hamilton,” “Sacred Pace,” “The Power of Habit,” “Knowing God,” & “Outlaw Platoon.” Very different texts obviously but all scratching a particular itch.

What’s on your reading list right now?

Why = Perseverance Fuel

“Perseverance is the hard work you do after you get tired of doing the hard work you already did.”

Newt Gingrich

Is perseverance still required if you love the hard work you are doing?

Personally I have found that even when I love the work, getting tired will still happen. But I have also found that perseverance is easy when you are mindful of what (or who) you are working for. It is hard to stay committed to the hard work if you don’t have a burning and compelling “why” that is driving you forward.

If you have a clearly defined “why” then perseverance is easy. If you have lost your “why” then you are going to lose the will to get it done. Stay focused on the why.

Great people first…

“Surround yourself with great people; delegate authority; get out of the way.”

Ronald Reagan

Notice that the quote doesn’t say “delegate accountability.” You are still responsible and accountable for the results that are created.

But that is why the rest of this quote is so powerful. When you have the right people, they have the right authority, and you have the wisdom not to meddle, that’s when the magic can happen.

It all starts with having great people, nothing else works if you get that part wrong.

Stronger through overcoming…

“A challenge only becomes an obstacle when you bow to it.”

Ray Davis

I don’t see a huge difference between a challenge and an obstacle. In my mind obstacles are just harder versions of challenges. They can still be overcome.

Sometimes we need some of the challenges in our lives to become obstacles just so we can learn how much we really want something. It is recognizing the obstacle and figuring out a way to go “over, under, around or through” that builds the resilience and strength we need when the real challenges of life present themselves. I can’t think of a single challenge I have had in my life that hasn’t served to make me stronger in some way.

Neither inferior or superior…

“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”

Eleanor Roosevelt

Feeling inferior is a choice, there isn’t a single person on this earth who is better than another because of role, degree or pedigree. We are all humans who put their britches on the same way each morning. Whether you feel superior, or inferior, you are wrong on both accounts. Don’t allow someone to make you feel either way, both are flawed.

Never mail it in…

“Do the best you can in every task, no matter how unimportant it may seem at the time. No one learns more about a problem than the person at the bottom.”

Sandra Day O’Connor

It can be easy to mail it in on the seeming inconsequential tasks and projects. But apathy and mediocrity are as highly contagious as any drug. If you don’t do your best when it doesn’t seem to count you won’t be able to when it really does. Give everything you have, that’s how you always keep climbing.

Thanksgiving 2019

“Be present in all things and thankful for all things.”

Maya Angelou

The beauty of gratitude is that it pulls you into the present moment. To be grateful you must be aware and the richness of the world that exists around you right now. To be thankful for all the blessings you have requires that you let go of the temptation to live for the future and revel in the richness of the present moment.

On this Thanksgiving Day take the time to pause and be fully present and aware of the incredible blessings that you have been blessed with. It is a beautiful day! Happy Thanksgiving!

Plant the right seeds…

“Each day of our lives we make deposits in the memory banks of our children.”

Charles Swindoll

Whether you have children or not you will make deposits in the lives of others today, and every day, through your words, behaviors and actions. If you are thankful and grateful, they will be too. If you are harsh and judgmental, then those are the memories you are building for others. You can’t control what others think about you, but you can control the seeds of those memories and how they are planted.

Today, and every day, be intentional in the deposits that you make, for someday you will only exist as a memory. Do you want those memories to be impactful or forgettable?

Daily Gratitude = Happiness…

“Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more.”

Melodie Beattie​

When in your life have you been the most grateful? If you take a moment to look back and think of a time when your “gratitude overflowed” what was it that you were grateful for? Who were the people, the gifts, or the blessings that created that degree of gratefulness?

It can be so easy to get lost in the pursuit of “more” and the comparison trap with others. When one takes a step back and considers all the blessings you truly have, the rest just seems to drift into place.

What is it that prevents you from having a sense of gratitude each and every day?

Thanks – GIVING

“Wherever you turn, you can find someone who needs you. Even if it is a little thing, do something for which there is no pay but the privilege of doing it. Remember, you don’t live in the world all of your own.”

Albert Schweitzer

Sometimes the best way to express your thanks and gratitude is to do for others, specifically for those that will never be able to repay you for the kindness. What better time of year to do so than the week of thanksgiving.

Who can you help today?

Multiplier for good…

“Perpetual optimism is a force multiplier.”

Colin Powell

Have you ever noticed that those who are perpetually optimistic also seem to be perpetually happy? Their optimism effects those around them and they just seem to be surrounded by good things. Positive things just seem to happen to and for them.

The “glass half full” attitude is a choice. We can either choose to see the world, and what happens in that world, as a blessing or a curse. Either way things happen and how we react to it them is entirely up to us. When we choose positivity then good things happen. When we choose negativity, then we see only the bad things.

Be a force multiplier not only for yourself, but for those around you. Your optimism can and will be contagious. That contagion is how the force will be multiplied.

Invest in learning…

“Change is the end result of all true learning.”

Leo Buscaglia

What is a change that you need or want to make in your life? What are you intentionally reading, learning and studying to make that change possible? If you aren’t doing the work of studying and learning then change won’t happen. Lasting change isn’t based on wishing or hoping it is based on hard work and learning.

Stop waiting for things to happen, go learn something new EVERYDAY and you will be amazed at the doors that open up for you.

A life worth living…

“If you look at what you have in life, you’ll always have more. If you look at what you don’t have in life, you’ll never have enough.”

Oprah Winfrey

Are you focused on creating a life based on “getting” or “giving?” No matter how much you accumulate, it is never enough. By the same token, no matter how much you give, you can always give more.

The key is to think about how you feel AFTERWARDS. Which perspective makes you feel full and alive, and which one leaves you feeling empty and needing more…?

What stops you?

“If you have the ability to help, and you know there are ways you can make a positive difference, and if you are able to do it, I don’t quite understand not…”

Eddie Vedder

I’ve been reflecting a lot lately on gratitude and the power of living a grateful life. It’s not because it is almost Thanksgiving (although that is a good time for everyone to pause and be grateful) but just a continuing realization and appreciation for just how blessed and privileged I have been throughout my life.

Yesterday I had the opportunity to sit in a Q&A session between Keith Block (Co-CEO of Salesforce) and Eddie Vedder (of Pearl Jam). Eddie said a lot of great things but the quote above really stood out to me (as well as a few of the others I will share below.) This was the fourth or fifth time over the past several weeks where I have heard a “give back” or “help others” message. I have found in life that when a bunch of seemingly unrelated experiences happen to convey a similar message that I really need to sit up and pay attention.

So what exactly does this mean? I have no idea. But helping others, doing for others, living a life for others with a spirit of gratitude and understanding for all that we have been blessed with is so rewarding.

Why do we turn a blind eye to the needs of others? Why do we step past a person on the street who is homeless and hungry? Why do we find ways to do things for ourselves but yet we can’t find five minutes to reach out to friends or family to let them know we are thinking about them? When did we move from being a society that was thankful for simple blessings and become a society obsessed with the relentless pursuit of more?

Eddie shared several thoughts yesterday that really struck home with me as I reflect on blessings and ways to give back. Here are some of the ones that stood out to me:

“In our DNA we are hunters and gatherers. It’s not hunters, gatherers and hoarders.”

“It just seems like you the more you give, the more you get in return.”

“If you have the ability to help, there’s always going to be a way you can make a positive difference.”

Life on this earth is short and temporary. Tomorrow is never promised and As I wrote about yesterday we are truly here on this earth to help and love others. What greater gift is there to live a life of gratitude on a daily basis and find a way every day to do something for someone else, with no expectation of anything in return? What is stopping you from helping someone, anyone, today?

Your true purpose…

“The sole reason we are here is to help someone else.”

Tim Cook

The context behind this quote is on realizing our true purpose in life. I had the opportunity yesterday to see a conversation between Tim Cook & Marc Benioff while attending Dreamforce (Salesforce’s annual conference). Tim was speaking about our purpose in life and how it took him a long time to realize his purpose, and not just his individual purpose, but the collective purpose of all humanity. His sentiment was that once you realize that the purpose of being on this earth was to help others that it is the most liberating and revelatory awareness one can have.

What if everyone realized this, and behaved accordingly? What if every single person treated others with dignity and respect? What if we all made it our purpose today to find someone and help them? How different would our world be tomorrow?

Instead of being burdened today by what you do, go find a way to help someone else. You just might find that you are fulfilling your true purpose…

Something new…

“Learning is not attained by chance, it must be sought for with ardor and attended to with diligence.”

Abigail Adams

What are you planning to learn today? What are the opportunities ahead of you to gain new knowledge? Do you have a plan? If not, then just use two simple questions to bring focus to your learning.

First, begin your day with this question. “What do I want to learn today?”

Second, At the conclusion of the day ask yourself the follow up, “what did I learn today?”

I use a digital journal to keep up with these questions but use whatever method works for you. Just be sure you are learning!

Without intentional focus on learning, growth is accidental. That’s no way to live. That is just survival and existence. There is so much more to life than just existing. Learn something new!

Unlock greatness…

“The greatest leaders are not necessarily the ones who do the greatest things. They are the ones that inspire others to do great things.”

Ronald Reagan

An important aspect of leadership is the unlocking of the hidden and untapped talents in others. No one person can do everything or be the source of all great things. Inspiring others is an incredible multiplier that makes the impossible possible. Focus on helping others find their potential and you will help unlock greatness.

Taken for granted…

“When it comes to life the critical thing is whether you take things for granted or take them with gratitude.”

G.K. Chesterton

There is such a distinct difference between living a life of gratitude and any other kind of life. A life of gratitude fuels a positive spirit and an appreciation of the beauty that surrounds us. But it is so easy to take things for granted.

Make a list today of 10 things that you know that you take for granted. Be specific. You aren’t going to share this list (unless you want to) so be honest with yourself. Now study that list. Is there something on that list that someone else does for you to whom you could go and express your gratitude? If so, do it.

Next think of the biggest challenges or obstacles that you are facing. What are the things that are causing you to have doubt and worry? Now look at your list again. Given the things that you have that you are taking for granted in life does the challenge seem quite as large?

If you have your health, you have so much more than many people. If you have love, you have more than many. If you have food to eat and water to drink, you have more than most of the world has had throughout human history. What do you have to be grateful for today?

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