Are you willing to live on purpose?

“Everybody ends up somewhere in life. A few people end up somewhere on purpose.”

Andy Stanley

“On purpose” = to achieve something with intentionality.

Are you living your life in this way? Do you have a goal, a plan, a process to measure success and adjust your actions as necessary? Don’t create a New Year’s resolution, merely a wish that might or might not happen. Instead, take the time today to step back, step away, focus on capturing your intentions for your life and what you will do in 2022 to make those happen. Then, use this start to a new year to build a plan that matters because your life matters, right? Who is going to do it if you won’t? No one. Why live that way? Start living an “on purpose” life today. That’s a goal that matters…

Learning comes as a result of a listening…

“Learning never takes place while you’re talking.”

Andy Stanley

The first place my mind went to upon reading this quote was the need to be quiet and listen when in others’ presence—the need to focus on asking quality questions and then listening, truly listening, to the responses.  

Upon further reflection, I think there is much more to this, a much deeper level of meaning.  What if I were to apply the same process and focus on myself? What if I were to ask myself the right questions and then focus on the answers that my mind creates?  

Often in life, we spend all our time focused on the external but skip over or neglect the critical internal narrative and opportunity to learn by probing into our thoughts. Perhaps our most significant moment for learning will come from creating the ability to pause, the courage to ask and answer the tough questions, and the opportunity to reflect on and learn from the answers made within our minds.  

As humans, we were explicitly created with this intention. “Behold, You desire truth in the innermost being, And in the hidden part [of my heart] You will make me know wisdom.” Psalms‬ ‭51:6‬ ‭AMP

‘Learning never takes place while you are talking;’ learning takes place when you are listening.  What questions are you asking yourself, and are you devoting the time and attention to listen to the answers you create?  

crop man with wired headphones in studio
Photo by Andrea Piacquadio on Pexels.com

What is your one?

“One tree can start a forest. One smile can begin a friendship. One hand can lift a soul. One word can frame the goal. One candle can wipe out darkness. One laugh can conquer gloom. One touch can show you care. One life can make the difference. Be that one today.”

Author Unknown

Every day we have a critical choice to make. We can happen to the world, or we can choose to let the world happen to us. Perhaps even more importantly, we have a decision to make regarding our lives’ impact on others. There will be an impact. Period. Full stop. The key is whether we are intentional with our decisions and how those decisions will architect others’ lives.  

I have been anxiously awaiting the arrival of Andy Stanley’s new book “Better Decisions, Fewer Regrets” because I haven’t found anyone better than Andy at distilling complicated topics into meaningful and powerful questions. I just received my copy this week and have been DEVOURING it. Topically it is straightforward, but when you peel back the layers and ask yourself the questions he frames out, it is extraordinarily powerful. I highly recommend it.  

One decision can make all the difference. What decisions will you make today that will positively impact the lives of others?

Amazon Link – Better Decisions, Fewer Regrets – Andy Stanley

Seeking clarity…

“In times of disruption, clarity is the next best thing to certainty.”

Andy Stanley

Lets face it, over the past 45-60 days we have seen incredible disruption across the entire world in almost every category of life. Nothing is quite the same as it was just a few short months ago. People’s lives have been changed, in many cases forever.

As humans we crave consistency. We want assurances that our lives will go according to our plans. We need a foundation of rock upon wish to build our lives even though we are never really in charge.

As leaders we have the challenge of casting a vision of certainty in these most uncertain times. In the absence of knowing what will happen, we must create transparency about what is happening and what we are doing about it.

This isn’t a different challenge than what existed in a pre-Covid 19 world, it has always been the role of the leader to create and cast a vision of the future that influences and impacts the behavior of those they serve. A key principle in accomplishing a vision has been to remove uncertainty and doubt and clarify what is important. Never has this been more important than now.

In the absence of certainty I am reminded of one of my favorite, and most comforting verses in scripture.

‘Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; you anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life, and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord forever. The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters. He restores my soul. He leads me in paths of righteousness for his name’s sake. ‘ Psalm 23:1-6

We will never know all that is going to come, but whenever there is a lack of certainty we always have a source of exceptional clarity about what is truly important.

Do you lead yourself first?

“Great leaders last because they lead themselves first.”

Andy Stanley

Self-leadership is the most important component of becoming a successful leader. How can you expect anyone else to follow you if you don’t set the example and demonstrate that you can lead yourself?

So what does this mean? It carries much more meaning than simply leading by example. It requires tremendous self-awareness and the ability to get outside of your own head to see yourself, and your behavior, and then determine what changes need to be made to become the leader you know you are capable of becoming.

The model of leadership effectiveness that I personally use follows these core principles: (see previous post here)

  1. Set clear expectations
  2. Coach and train to the expectations
  3. Evaluate performance against the expectations
  4. Hold accountable to the expectation

The real self-leadership question is whether you are holding yourself accountable to following these same principles? If the answer is no, then you have work to do because you aren’t leading yourself first…

Busy on purpose…

“Everybody ends up somewhere in life.  A few people end up somewhere on purpose.”

Andy Stanley

Do we sometimes get so busy that we forget why we are living? It seems that we can easily forget that life isn’t about being “busy” and having a lot of stuff to do. I recently read a passage in a book that was talking about “busy” as way of showing our importance and relevance in life. The busier we are the more important we must be. This world we live in today is all about being “busy” and having a lot going on. In many cases it is perceived that if you aren’t stretched to the max you must not be very good or successful in life.

That’s why I like this quote from Andy so much. It makes me think about being “busy on purpose.” Am I headed in the right direction and is my busy focused on what matters or is it focused on me? It’s okay to be busy, but only if what you are doing really matters. Otherwise it is just activity…

What great looks like…

“What’s celebrated is repeated.  The behaviors that are celebrated are repeated.  The decisions that are celebrated are repeated.  The values that are celebrated are repeated.”

Andy Stanley

Very bluntly I am not good at this.  It has always been a challenge for me to pause and slow down long enough to celebrate success.  For anything that is accomplished I am immediately thinking and working on the next thing.  As a person who derives my motivation internally it just doesn’t hit my radar screen.  This is not a good or positive trait and is one that I continually have to work on.  I find that this quote does an excellent job driving the “why” behind the celebration and reinforces what a leader must do to help their team achieve continued success.

To perform at a high level a team must know what great looks like.  When they achieve success celebration is what reinforces the behaviors that it took to get there and instills them into the culture.  In essence, celebration is creating the culture of the team or organization based on success and winning and instilling a desire to do it again.  

Thinking more on this it brings some questions to mind.  Without a celebration will anyone know what great looks like?  How would anyone know to do it again?  If you don’t celebrate, will people know what it is that is valued by, and expected from, you as a leader?

It’s not personal!

“A great leader doesn’t avoid conflict and a great leader doesn’t doesn’t leave a body of emotionally destroyed people behind. A great leader solves problems.”

Andy Stanley

The great leaders I have worked with always made it about the problem to be solved, not the person.  They are exceptional at addressing both poor results and poor behaviors swiftly and directly.  They didn’t leave a wake of destruction in their path because they didn’t make it personal.  They focused on the desired outcome and addressing whatever is that happens to be taking a person off course.  

Does it take courage to do this?  Yes, of course it does.  Not many people thrive on and enjoy high conflict situations.  It takes an ability to keep the focus on the business at hand and not let the fear of conflict dissuade you from having the direct conversations that are needed.  

I’ve work with leaders who were anything but exceptional at this as well.  They either would ignore the situation entirely, talk about it behind another persons back and undermine their credibility, or they would be like a volcano and erupt.  All of these behaviors (and many more) are the types of things that emotionally destroy people and undermine the influence of leadership.

The key for success here is to ensure that when dealing with situations where conflict is needed be swift, seek to understand, and live by the principle ‘It’s not personal!’

Good decisions start with good questions…


“Leadership isn’t making all the decisions. It is making sure the right decisions are made.”

Andy Stanley

Sometimes the best decision a leader makes is to ask the right questions.  When this is done effectively it puts the leadership focus on making the right decision, not on the decision maker themself.

I will fully admit that this is much easier said than done.  Knowing when to ask the right questions and when to be the decision maker is a delicate balance that comes through experience and trial and error.  But when it is done correctly it creates leadership growth both in the decision makers and those that they lead.   

Invest your effort into asking the questions that drive towards making the right decisions.  It creates a double win.  The right decisions are made, and so are more leaders…

Where do you choose to invest?

“Giving up something now for something better later is not a sacrifice. It is an investment.”

Andy Stanley

What is really important?  Is the things we have now, or those we want in the future?  Where would you choose to invest your time or energy in order to achieve something better later?  

If you know the answer to that question then the real question is this one…  

Why don’t you?

Listening is power…

“Leaders who refuse to listen, will eventually be surrounded by people who have nothing helpful to say”

Andy Stanley

I once heard someone say that if you want to be a more effective leader you have to be more interested, than interesting.  This was followed with with what I believe is some of the best advice I have ever received.  That as a leader, in order for you to really be effective, that the number of questions you ask must outweigh the number of statements that you make. This has always been incredibly convicting for me and is something that I continually work on improving.  

The dangers of talking more than listening seem obvious, but why do so few people actually practice the true art of listening?  Is it because they like the sound of their own voice?  That they believe what they have to say is the most important thing?  Or perhaps, they just don’t understand that the best way to impact and influence others comes through listening and seeking first to to understand BEFORE being understood.  

If you aren’t really listening, then as Andy says, you’ll soon find yourself surrounded by people who only tell you what you want to hear….  

What your problem isn’t, and what it is…

“Let me take some pressure off. Your problem is not discipline. Your problem is not organization. Your problem is not that you have yet to stumble upon the perfect schedule. And your problem is not that the folks at home demand too much of your time. The problem is this: there’s not enough time to get everything done that you’re convinced—or others have convinced you—needs to get done.”

Andy Stanley

Sometimes I read a quote and it just hits me between the eyes.  This is one of those.  Let me start by saying that Andy Stanley is one of my absolute favorites.  He has a special gift and if you ever get a chance to hear him speak please take full advantage of it.  He is exceptional.

There’s not enough time.  Period.  End of story.  It just can’t all be done.  When you come to terms with this fact it is liberating.  Give up the feeling of failure and insufficiency and and instead embrace the feeling of control, define what is most important and say yes to only those things.  Easy to say but oh so hard to do.  

I know that the challenge for me is figuring out just how close to the edge I can walk without falling over. I need to be uncomfortably close to the limit in order to feel challenged and inspired.  I must be stretched in order to grow.  The question that I am really pondering right now is whether or not I am choosing the right things to stretch for  Not only do we need to say “no,” we need to choose the right “yes’s.”  

 

Sign up here to receive the daily quote that inspires my blog posts. Thanks!

dusty

%d bloggers like this: