“Kindness and consideration of somebody besides yourself keeps you feeling young.”
Betty White
One of my former pastors used to constantly remind us that “holding on to anger and resentment is liking taking poison and expecting the other person to die.” Perhaps the opposite is also true; focusing on kindness and love is an elixir for both you AND someone else. If so, this seems like a pretty good deal to me. So, what medicine are you going to take today?
“When I was young, I admired clever people. Now that I am old, I admire kind people.”
Abraham Joshua Heschel
Some of the most intelligent people I know are also some of the kindest. They aren’t kind because they are smart; they are kind because they understand that we are not put on this earth to do for ourselves, but instead to do for others. So they use their intelligence to bring kindness to bear for as many people as possible.
That’s what I admire.
“Work hard, be kind, and amazing things will happen.”
Conan O’Brien
What have you done for someone else today? Better yet, what are you going to do? Do you have an intentional plan to make the world a better place, to do something for others, to find a way to help?
Perhaps a different way to express this quote would be, “work hard AT being kind, and amazing things will happen.”
Try this. For 30 days, answer these simple questions, one in the morning, one in the evening just before bed.
Is this crazy? Maybe. But imagine the difference for others through your hard work if you make this practice a reality. Plan your work, work your plan. Hold yourself accountable every day.
What’s the worst that can happen, your making a positive impact on the lives of those around you?
“Let no one ever come to you without leaving better and happier. Be the living expression of God’s kindness: kindness in your face, kindness in your eyes, kindness in your smile.”
Mother Teresa
Imagine how different your world would be if every person you interfaced with lived with this mentality. What if every person you came in contact with was gave kindness in every possible way? How amazing would that be? You would live a life full of incredible positivity and energy. It would simply be beyond our current ability to imagine.
So what stops you from being this person? What is keeping you living this way? Who knows, you might become the seed of kindness that grows and spreads…
“You can accomplish by kindness what you cannot by force.”
Publius Syrus
Reading this I am reminded of the old saying “you can a lead a horse to water but you can’t make it drink.”
The ability to get things accomplished isn’t based on titles and roles. Real changes comes through effective leadership and this is based on the strength and quality of the relationships that are intentionally fostered and developed. Without carefully and genuinely taking the time to build a real connection with others, you will never have the influence and impact that is otherwise possible.
If you don’t do this, then direct force is the only tool at your disposal. Seems to me that having a toolbox with only one tool in it is a pretty dumb idea. You’ll end up frustrated, and so will your horse…
“Carry out a random act of kindness with no expectation of reward.”
Princess Diana
Fear, doubt and worry are all ultimately rooted in self. What is going to happen to me? How will I manage if something bad happens? Granted, you might be worried about others and what the implications are for them, but the center of the worry is a focus on self.
Instead of devoting energy today to things that are outside of your control, instead focus on finding someone else to love. Give a part of yourself away. It can be as simple as a smile to another person to another person on the street, paying for the meal of the person in the drive-thru line behind you, picking up groceries for a neighbor that isn’t able to leave their home, etc.
The point is to intentionally and purposefully find ways to give a tiny piece of yourself away. Look for ways to do good. Seek opportunities to serve. Focus on what you can do for someone else. Not because of what you are going to get in return, but because we all share the same human condition of being slaves to self. Follow the principle Paul spoke of in his letter to the church of Corinth.
‘Each one must give as he has decided in his heart, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver. And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that having all sufficiency in all things at all times, you may abound in every good work. ‘
2 Corinthians 9:7-8
Break those bond of slavery to self through fear, doubt and worry and seek to sow the seeds of love in your actions today.
“You must not under any pretense allow your mind to dwell on any thought that is not positive, constructive, optimistic, kind.”
Emmet Fox
Nothing good comes from dwelling on something that is negative, destructive, pessimistic or cruel. Those thoughts infect your behaviors and create actions that you will regret. On the other side finding a way to dwell on thoughts that are positive, constructive, optimistic and kind will have a remarkably positive impact on your actions. Dwell on the right things…
“If you have a choice between being right and being kind, choose kind.”
Dr. Wayne W. Dyer
How much energy is spent in the world on “being right” versus doing “what is right.” This applies to personal relationships, work relationships, corporate relationships, etc. The minute one’s ego is allowed to be in the drivers seat being right will have a higher priority over doing what is right. The problem is that it creates a vicious cycle where a response or retaliation is the first instinct. When this happens how do you stop the cycle? How do you take the ego out of the drivers seat and return the focus to what is truly important?
In the book of Matthew Jesus laid out how to do this, and it is some incredibly difficult advice to follow. However, when you can pause long enough to remove emotion from the situation you can see how applying this would solve so much in our world.
“But I say to you, Do not resist the one who is evil. But if anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also. “You have heard that it was said, ‘An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.’ And if anyone would sue you and take your tunic, let him have your cloak as well. And if anyone forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles. Give to the one who begs from you, and do not refuse the one who would borrow from you.” Matthew 5:38-42
Human nature puts the ego in control, puts being right first, puts self over kindness. When you read this passage I love how it mirrors the wisdom in today’s quote and shifts the focus from the desire of being right to demonstrating kindness and generosity. Easy to say, hard to do. How can you choose kindness today?
“Tip your server. Return your shopping cart. Pick up a piece of trash. Hold the door for the person behind you. Let someone into your lane. Small acts can have a ripple effect. That’s how we change the world.”
Author Unknown
The little efforts that you do for others can have a profound effect not just on the ones that you help, but those that observe you doing them as well. I can vividly remember seeing the CEO of a company I used to work for who would regularly hold the door open for others and pick up a piece of trash in the parking lot. Those impressions were powerful for me not just because he was setting a great example, but because he was extremely grounded. He was well aware that value and worth don’t come from what role you have or how much money you make. Instead the measure of ones value comes from serving others and being intentional in your actions to elevate other people.
If you were to create a game where the score was tallied by how many times in one day you could make another person smile, or how many times you could intentionally do one of the these small acts, how would you score? Try it today, just for one day, and then do it again, and again and again. Then it will become a habit and that’s when going the second mile for someone else can become second nature.
“Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.”
Leo Buscaglia
We never know the impact we have on another persons life. The littlest things can matter the most. When I read the quote above it jumped out that all of those things demonstrate care and concern for another human being. Showing that we care can change somebodies world. We don’t know what anyone else is truly going through and how we can impact their lives by demonstrating care. We might never know, and that is okay because to live an intentional life of caring is our greatest calling.