Are you making the right choice?

“You have to decide what your highest priorities are and have the courage—pleasantly, smilingly, non-apologetically, to say “no” to other things. And the way you do that is by having a bigger “yes” burning inside. The enemy of the ‘best’ is often the ‘good.'”

Stephen Covey

Would you instead do three things well, or five or ten things poorly?  

Saying yes is easy; no is hard. This can apply whether in our professional or personal lives. We tend to take on too much, to over-commit, because we overestimate our capabilities and desires.  

What are the three most important things you want and need to accomplish this year? That’s your yes. Everything that gets in the way of getting this done must be pruned relentlessly. 

Here are the options; excellence or mediocrity. It’s your choice. Say yes to the right one.  

Happiness lies in unlocking your “no.”

“If you can’t figure out your purpose, figure out your passion. For your passion will lead you right into your purpose.”

T.D. Jakes

Passion can enable your purpose. Your purpose can also enable your passion. Regardless of whether it lives under the label of “passion” or “purpose,” the critical question to answer is, “why do you do what you do?” If you can’t answer this, then why are you doing it?

The real value in defining your passion and purpose is that they enable you to say “no” to all of the things which will inevitably try and get in the way. Purpose and passion aren’t just a means to an end; they are the great clarifiers of our lives. Solve for these, and you will have the freedom to say “no.”

How to pull yourself out of the river…

“You drown not by falling into a river, but by staying submerged in it.”

Paulo Coelho

Life is busy. It can be easy to become overwhelmed with all the things you need to do on a day to day basis. The simplest yet hardest thing to do is to learn to say “no.” Only when you can say no to the stuff which doesn’t matter can you pull yourself out of the river.

Sometimes the river overtakes you, and you don’t even realize you are drowning. The best tactic I have found to manage this and keep from becoming overwhelmed is a simple journaling practice at the end of each day. In my daily wrap up journal, I ask myself the following five questions:

  1. What did you accomplish today that was valuable to self and others?
  2. Did you achieve your goals for the day? If not, what got in the way?
  3. How could I have made today better?  
  4. What should I have said “no” to today?
  5. What am I grateful for?

These questions are continually evolving as I learn and grow, but I have found them beneficial, especially when life is overwhelming and there don’t seem to be enough hours in the day.

When in doubt, delete!

“I am thankful the most important key in history was invented. It’s not the key to your house, your car, your boat, your safety deposit box, your bike lock or your private community. It’s the key to order, sanity, and peace of mind. The key is ‘Delete.'”

Elayne Boosler

It is a sign of our age that the first image I thought of when I read this quote was the “delete” key on a computer keyboard. Though upon further reflection perhaps that is equally fitting since everything comes through some sort of digital filter nowadays!

What really strikes me when I meditate on this quote for a few minutes is while this might be the most important key in history, it is equally likely to be the least efficiently wielded. Well, I can only speak for myself of course!

Saying “no” can be a very hard thing to do at times. But without a doubt, it is the most powerful word in the English language when it comes to getting things done. Let me rephrase this, it is the most powerful word in the English language when it comes to getting the RIGHT things done…

Once a quarter I sit down and take stock of my weekly calendar and routine tasks to see what changes I need to make to ensure I am spending my time in the most productive and effective manner. Invariably I find myself looking at things I WANT to do but in reality, are preventing me from getting the things I NEED to get done done. While I struggle with saying no, the best discipline I have EVER created was the regular and recurring use of the “delete key” on all things that don’t make me more effective in the pursuit of my goals.

In all likelihood, I should wield this discipline more often than once a quarter…

Beware the PDM…

“The art of leadership is saying no, not saying yes. It is very easy to say yes.”

Tony Blair

In this world of continuing distraction and constant interruption the ability to say “no” is more important than ever. The hold that our digital “leashes” have over us is perhaps more akin to a “shock collar” than a leash. Just how long can you go without checking your phone for alerts, messages, etc?

I recently installed an app on my phone that measures the number of times in a day that I unlock and use my phone as well as the amount of screen time I utilize each day.

By the way, isn’t “phone” the wrong label for our devices? How much time do we actually use them as “phones” versus everything else. I remember the time when Palm Pilots and Newtons were sold as a “PDA” or “Personal Digital Assistant.” Nowadays perhaps “PDM” is a better label, “Personal Digital Master.” But I digress…

Imagine my shock and surprise when I learned that I was opening and unlocking my “phone” over 100 times a day! In a world where you sleep for 8 hours (I wish!) then in 16 hours I am unlocking and viewing my phone on average 6.25 times per hour, or just under every 10 minutes.

What does this have to do with leadership? In a word, everything. If you are leading you must be present, focused and able to serve. How can you do that if you serve a digital master that is unrelenting in it’s demands on your time? What does it say to those whom you serve if you can’t put down the digital device for as few as 10 minutes to focus on their needs?

I’m still figuring out what I need to do with this information. I just know that if I want to be a leader that is focused on serving a broader and more meaningful mission, and my team that delivers on that mission, I have to be able to say “no” to the PDM. Saying yes is easy, saying no is going to be so much harder…

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dusty

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