“When we strive to become better than we are, everything around us becomes better too.”
Paulo Coelho
There is the old saying that “a rising tide lifts all boats.” The nuance here is that tide isn’t seeking to raise the boats; it happens due to the water movement, an external event. The same thing happens to those around us when we focus on self-leadership. We aren’t most effective at moving others because we focus on moving them; we move others when we focus on growing our leadership and capabilities. Leadership begins with self-leadership. Be the tide that raises all the boats around you.
“You drown not by falling into a river, but by staying submerged in it.”
Paulo Coelho
Life is busy. It can be easy to become overwhelmed with all the things you need to do on a day to day basis. The simplest yet hardest thing to do is to learn to say “no.” Only when you can say no to the stuff which doesn’t matter can you pull yourself out of the river.
Sometimes the river overtakes you, and you don’t even realize you are drowning. The best tactic I have found to manage this and keep from becoming overwhelmed is a simple journaling practice at the end of each day. In my daily wrap up journal, I ask myself the following five questions:
What did you accomplish today that was valuable to self and others?
Did you achieve your goals for the day? If not, what got in the way?
How could I have made today better?
What should I have said “no” to today?
What am I grateful for?
These questions are continually evolving as I learn and grow, but I have found them beneficial, especially when life is overwhelming and there don’t seem to be enough hours in the day.
“You’re always learning. The problem is, sometimes you stop and think you understand the world. This is not correct. The world is always moving. You never reach the point you can stop making an effort.”
Paulo Coelho
The minute that you think you have arrived in life, it is over. There are no end to the opportunities to grow and learn. Personally I want to be reading and learning until the day that I pass from this earth. It is the only way that I can continue to contribute to others. Learning is a gift both for yourself and to others when you use that knowledge to impact their lives.
Perhaps another way to think about this is that death occurs when you stop learning. Your body might be living, but without constant growth, your mind isn’t. That is death…
“I have seen many storms in my life. Most storms have caught me by surprise, so I had to learn very quickly to look further and understand that I am not capable of controlling the weather, to exercise the art of patience and to respect the fury of nature.”
Paulo Coelho
Forgive the long post but this topic is something that I am really passionate about… I am a huge fan of Dr. Stephen Covey’s classic “The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People.” It has been one of the most impactful books that I have read and studied in my life and each of the Habits are incredibly powerful. It is certainly a must read ((In fact, thinking about it now I am due to reread it again soon…) and one that I highly recommend.
One of the things that resonated so much with me the first time I read the book was the concept of the “circle of concern” vs. “circle of control.” Proactive people tend to live a life focused on their “circle of control” while reactive people tend to live a life that is reacting to things outside of their control.
I bring this up in context with this quote because the weather is a great example of “circle of concern.” We can’t control the storms, the sunshine or how the weather changes our plans. But we can control how we react to the weather. We can make decisions to wear different clothes, make different plans, put an umbrella in our car.
This is such a great metaphor for life. If we choose spend our energy focused on reacting to things that are in our “circle of concern” instead of being focused on the things with in our “circle of control” we will always be reacting, always be unhappy, always be unsettled.
It is hard to do at times but I try to run everything impacting my life, and those around me, through this filter and ask myself the following questions.
Is this thing/event/circumstance within my circle of concern or circle of control?
Circle of Concern:
What decisions do I need to make regarding how I will act/react to it?
What is within my control that will influence how this impacts me/others?
Where can/should I have made different decisions that will/would have impacted the impact on my world/environment?
Circle of Control:
What can I do to impact this?
Where should I invest my effort and energy to make a proactive change?
What can I do differently?
Take a look at this picture below. I think it does a tremendous job outlining the difference in how people react to the Circle of Concern vs. the Circle of Control.
“Whenever you want to achieve something, keep your eyes open, concentrate and make sure you know exactly what it is you want. No one can hit their target with their eyes closed.”
Paulo Coelho
I love Paulo Coelho’s book“The Alchemist.” It is one of my favorite reads and another book that I try to read at least once a year. If you haven’t read it is the story of a young shepherd boy who is on a desperate search for a worldly treasure. He keeps his eyes open along the way and pays attention to the many omens that he finds to bring him to the treasure he truly seeks. It is an easy book to read and carries much deeper meaning than what is available at first glance.
What does it mean for you to “concentrate and make sure you know exactly what it is you want?” For me it means clearly answering, with great detail, these questions:
What does success look like? What is it we are trying to achieve? What will it feel like when we get there? How will we know we have achieved our goal? What would prevent us from getting there? These are key questions and ones that cannot afford to be overlooked when planning out our goals. Far too often I find that we have good ideas but don’t put in the effort to clearly define what exactly it is that we are trying to achieve.
For me “keeping your eyes open” is doing the hard work up front to paint a crystal clear vision for yourself of what it is that you want to accomplish. Without this it is just muddy and subject to many detours and deviations along the way. It reminds me of Yogi Berra’s quote, “If you don’t know where you’re going, you’ll end up someplace else.”
