Are you focused on the right problem?

“Leaders inspire accountability through their ability to accept responsibility before they place the blame.”

Courtney Lynch

“I should have handled this differently than I did, and I own that. Now, what are we going to do differently next time to ensure a different outcome? I will be holding you accountable for meeting our mutually agreed upon expectations. Are you willing and able to own those results?”

That’s certainly a lot better than “what the heck were you thinking,” or any other variety of blameshifting…

We are each accountable and responsible…

“To be accountable means that we are willing to be responsible to another person for our behavior and it implies a level of submission to another’s opinions and viewpoints.”

Wayde Goodall

“Willing to be responsible to another person for OUR behavior.” I particularly like this portion of the quote; it means you must maintain a willingness to be accountable for your behaviors’ impact on others, whether intentional or not. 

The second portion of the quote, “implies a level of submission to another’s opinions and viewpoints,” conveys that one must actively seek an understanding of how your behaviors impact others. Since you are responsible, you are then accountable for that impact.

We don’t live in a vacuum, our behaviors have a profound impact on the lives of others, and we can’t blindly say, “that’s just the way that I am.” That isn’t accountability.

Teaching is a gift to be received and given…

“The mediocre teacher tells. The good teacher explains. The superior teacher demonstrates. The great teacher inspires.”

William Arthur Ward

Think back over your life; who were the teachers, mentors, or coaches who helped you elevated your thinking or performance to the next level? How did they do this? What were their specific behaviors that impacted you? Why were they so profoundly impactful on your life?  What specifically did they DO? 

The answers to these questions will be unique and special to you and your life. Perhaps someone saw a talent within you that you didn’t yet see? Maybe they didn’t let you quit when that is all you wanted to do? Possibly they had a unique way of distilling the seemingly complex into a manner that just “clicked” for you. Regardless of how or what they did, they profoundly impacted your life through their behaviors and actions.  

Have you taken any of those behaviors and built them into your life? Were you merely a recipient of someone else’s greatness, or have you become a conduit and multiplier and transferred it on to others? The beauty of great teachers is that they aren’t only elevating you; they are planting seeds to inspire and promote others within you.  

It is an incredible gift to be the beneficiary of a great teacher. However, once taught, you must pass that teaching on to others. To clarify, I am not talking about the specific knowledge or expertise, but the method by which you were inspired to learn.  This was the real gift you were given. Honor the one that gave it to you by finding a way to pass it on to others.  

How do you measure up?

“The ability to accept responsibility is the measure of the man.”

Roy L. Smith

Who is accountable? Ultimately we each are at an individual level. Sometimes it just takes the passage of time for the fog to clear and for us to see that our own actions, or inaction’s, have conspired to create a situation or circumstance.

I have found that the most successful, and the happiest, people in life are those that live with an attitude of exceptional responsibility or ownership. A given situation or circumstance might not cause them to have joy or happiness but they own how they respond to it and do not dwell on what happened to them. Instead they focus on what they can do, and sometimes that is simply to accept what they cannot control.

So how do you do this? How do you live life in this manner? Embrace these questions honestly and with a clear willingness to either admit fault, or take accountability.

  • What could, or should, I have done that would have changed the outcome?
  • If I had this to do over again what would I do differently?
  • Where did I miss something that might have helped me make a better decision?
  • What can I learn from this to make better/different decisions in the future?
  • How have my actions, or inaction’s, created this situation?
  • What lesson is God teaching me? Or perhaps said a different way, what is God preparing me for through this journey?

The bottom line is this. We are all responsible for the actions of our lives. We are responsible for how we treat others. We are responsible for every word that comes out of our mouths and every thought that passes through our minds. To be responsible we must surrender the need to be in absolute control and practice an attitude of learning and accountability. If you can’t do this, your unhappiness is your fault.

Great people first…

“Surround yourself with great people; delegate authority; get out of the way.”

Ronald Reagan

Notice that the quote doesn’t say “delegate accountability.” You are still responsible and accountable for the results that are created.

But that is why the rest of this quote is so powerful. When you have the right people, they have the right authority, and you have the wisdom not to meddle, that’s when the magic can happen.

It all starts with having great people, nothing else works if you get that part wrong.

Four fingers…

“When a man points a finger at someone else, he should remember that four of his fingers are pointing at himself.”

Louis Nizer

I have written before about the power of ownership and owning vs. renting. The attitude of ownership says that one has some type of control over EVERYTHING that happens within their world. Is this literally true? Of course not, you can’t control the weather. But you can control how you dress for the weather or what activities you are taking part in.

If you can’t define the outcome of some situation or challenge, you can choose how you react to it. Choosing to point fingers and make it someone else’s fault is sidestepping both responsibility and accountability. If you want to live a life that embodies the ownership ethos then start by examining the four fingers that are pointing back yourself. That is where the power of growth can be harnessed. No ever grows or improves by pointing a finger at others.

Gifts for your children…

“The greatest gifts you can give your children are the roots of responsibility and the wings of independence.”

Denis Waitley 

I had a conversation with a friend the other day and we were discussing the things that we desire to instill in our children. The ‘gifts’ as it were that they will carry forward into life and will become part of their unique and special selves.

As I have reflected on this, and observed behaviors from other parents and children, it occurred to me that much like your own personal growth and development where you make choices on what is most important to focus on at a given time, the same is true with your children’s growth & development. At certain ages and stages you must instill certain gifts and beliefs or they will miss the importance of these lessons and will likely struggle to gain them later in life as they will be much harder lessons to learn as they grow older. It is our responsibility as parents to teach them and guide them so that as they grow up that they have a strong foundation to build upon.

I really like this quote because at foundational level these gifts of ‘responsibility’ and ‘independenc’e can serve them well throughout life. To that list I would add humility, service, respect, curiosity and a love of God. It’s not a complete list yet, but one that I am definitely going to be thinking more about. What would you put on your list?

Trust empowers growth…

“Few things can help an individual more than to place responsibility on him, and to let him know that you trust him.” 

Booker T. Washington

WIth trust comes freedom. Freedom to act, to think, to stretch beyond where you are today and embrace what could be. Sharing with someone else that you trust them empowers them to grow. On the flip side, demonstrating that you don’t trust someone steals that opportunity from them.

How do you ensure that you convey trust through your words and behaviors?

But what could have been done?

“We are responsible for far more than what we have been given; we are responsible for what could have been done with all that we have been entrusted with.”

Erwin Raphael McManus

There are really two key questions to be addressed here. First, “What have I been entrusted with?” Second, “what could have been done?”

Think of all the things that we have been entrusted with. The lives of our children. Our relationships with others. Opportunities to lessen the load of another human being and serve. Chances to simply make another person smile. These are just a few of the thoughts that immediately came to mind for me this morning.

I know that I fail regularly at living out this quote fully and completely. It is too easy to become myopic and only focus on “what I have been given” instead of what I am truly entrusted with. This quote is going to require further meditation and thought as I wrestle with what it means for me and how I live my life. Specifically as I think through the “what could I have done” question.

Ultimately it comes down to answering this question. How do we live life in a manner that glorifies God by being responsible for all that He has entrusted us with? It isn’t about owning things and possessing stuff. It is about owning the responsibility and being accountable for “what could have been done.”

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