Surrender in order to learn…

Share this post

“Earn the right to be heard by listening to others. Seek to understand a situation before making judgments about it.”

John Maxwell

When I read this quote I immediately thought of the book “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.” I haven’t read this book in a number of years but it has long been one of my favorites. Habit #5 from the book is “Seek first to understand, then be understood” and it is probably one of my absolute favorites. I know that I use this phrase all the time when communicating with others about the importance of digging deep and trying to understand any situation.

I think the same principle either from that habit or from this quote applies when trying to understand oneself and our behavior. What are the deep questions that you ask yourself in challenging situations or even when you are just trying to grow and learn? How do you slow down to ensure that you are really thinking the right things through?

There is a key thought outlined in the quote above that is so important and bears further rumination. “Seek to understand a situation before making judgments about it.”  I think that is the aspect that so many folks, most certainly including myself, miss out on. We are listening (or at least we tell ourselves we are) but we are listening to find fault, or to prepare our side of the argument. Research shows that most people are simply listening to respond, not understand, and certainly not with judgment. How do you ensure that you have suspended judgment so that you can truly understand?

Maybe it is as simple as this. To understand, to truly understand without making judgments, one must surrender the need the be right. Much easier said than done of course however think through how liberating that could be when really getting deep into a topic or situation. I believe doing that is what enables the first part of this quote to happen. If you do this well, you earn the right to be heard…

author avatar
Dusty Holcomb

Share this post

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Join the newsletter and never miss a post.

Get Dusty’s leadership wisdom and blog posts straight to your inbox.

Related posts

A group of children carefully planting young seedlings in a garden bed, illustrating the importance of nurturing growth over time. Just like leadership, growth requires patience, care, and the willingness to cultivate potential in others before the harvest is visible.
Uncategorized

Spring: A Season for Planting a New Leadership Growth Mindset

“Spring is far more than just a changing of seasons; it’s a rebirth of the spirit.” Toni Sorenson Spring is ...
Read More
"Runners in a marathon symbolize resilience and the will to win, embodying leadership principles of perseverance, self-discipline, and focusing on what you can control. This image reflects the key themes from 'The Will to Win: How to Build a Legacy That Lasts,' reinforcing the message that success is about mindset, effort, and endurance.
Uncategorized

The Will to Win: How to Build a Legacy That Lasts

“The spirit, the will to win, and the will to excel, are the things that endure. These qualities are so ...
Read More
A lone figure stands on a rocky ledge, gazing into a foggy, open landscape—symbolizing uncertainty, self-reflection, and the journey to overcoming doubt.
Growth

Doubt is Lying to You: How to Reclaim Your Confidence and Take Bold Action

Overcoming doubt isn’t about waiting until you feel ready—it’s about recognizing the lies it tells you and moving forward anyway. Doubt will keep you stuck ...
Read More

Join the Newsletter

Sign up for Dusty’s daily leadership inspiration in your inbox.

This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged.