“Empathy is about finding echoes of another person in yourself.
Mohsin Hamid
The Quiet Power of Empathy in Leadership
I’ll be honest—there have been moments when I’ve listened to someone on my teams and caught myself nodding along, but I wasn’t really with them. I was hearing the words, but my mind was elsewhere—already moving to solutions, already writing the ending before they had finished telling their story.
That’s not empathy. That’s problem-solving wrapped in politeness. And it erodes trust.
Empathy in leadership asks more of us. It demands that we sit in the discomfort of not knowing. It requires us to put down our own narrative and ask, What’s it like to be them right now?
Not to agree. Not to fix. Just to understand.
Empathy in Leadership Builds Trust
When people feel seen, they lean in. Trust grows when we show we care about who they are, not just what they do.
I’ve seen the opposite, too—when I pushed past someone’s frustration because I was focused on the finish line. I didn’t intend to break trust, but I did.
Ask yourself:
When was the last time you listened without formulating your response?
If you want to understand the cost of missing empathy, read The Five Dysfunctions of a Team by Patrick Lencioni, it is one of my favorites of all time, and one I try to reread annually.
Empathy in Leadership Takes Grit
Empathy isn’t soft. It’s gritty. I’ve had those tough moments—when a team member brought a problem I didn’t want to hear. I wanted to dismiss it, push forward. But empathy forced me to pause. It made me ask: What if I’m missing something here?
Leadership is never about having all the answers. It’s about having the humility to say, Help me see what you see. That’s where trust is built. That’s where teams grow.
Empathy in Leadership Creates Results
Empathy isn’t about making people feel better. It’s about creating an environment where people can be better. When we understand each other, we collaborate differently. Walls come down. Solutions emerge. Performance follows.
I’ve written about this before, many times actually, but empathy is something I continually work on as a skill because it takes work, it takes genuine care and attention to do well.
If you’re navigating the challenge of leading with both empathy and accountability, Turn the Ship Around! by L. David Marquet is a masterclass in balancing empowerment and performance.
Reflection
Empathy is not just a skill—it’s an act of self-leadership. It’s the daily discipline of choosing to understand before being understood. The best leaders are intentional with their empathy because connection is never accidental.
Who needs you to see them today? What will you do about it?
